The Story

   Before reading my story, understand that I don't agree with the act of complaining. I refuse to be such a negative person. This blog almost contradicts that fact, and is very difficult for me to justify to myself. I'm stubborn in that I tell myself that my problems are mine and no one else should have to concern themselves with it; that there are so many people with much more serious problems and mine pale in comparison. But I don't want to remain static just to satisfy such a senseless fixation. And while I can't help but to be humble to a fault, I'm hurting too. At this point I feel that keeping record of my experiences and having an outlet is genuinely justified.

    I've been experiencing digestive illness since I was a child. It has just been an ongoing issue getting in the way of and affecting all other areas of my life. I don't remember when it started, but it has definitely evolved.
 In the past, when I would attempt to seek medical advice, The doctors would find it humorous that I'm "too young" to be so ill. I would have trouble communicating my symptoms - I felt like the doctors weren't listening or understanding. I felt rushed when trying to explain my illness. It was never properly addressed. Instead, I was tested for several different things, including Rheumatoid Arthritis... My time and money was wasted and I felt disrespected, offended, frustrated, and not to mention... I was still sick! I pretty much gave up on doctors/medications.
  That was about three years ago, and admittedly, I did give up quickly. But in my defense, I was quite desperate for the help I was needing and frustrated with the "help" I was receiving. And in my experience, desperation and frustration are not a good combination. And my intentions were to be diagnosed so that I could weigh my options, not to be diagnosed and then quickly loaded up with prescription medications and sent skipping on my way, lollipop in hand, which I feel is what they were trying to do. I'm not a big believer in the idea of taking medications for life, especially starting out so young. I've never had effective experiences with medications anyway and I don't like the idea of causing illness just to pacify illness (side effects). Suffice to say it opposes my belief system (we all have our beliefs!).. AND my self preservation instincts. But I do feel that with a diagnosis I can find alternative forms of therapy. I wouldn't feel so lost and alone in my struggles. And I would always have the option of medication if I were to end up 'needing' it and if I were to change my mind. But unfortunately I've been without health insurance for a year and a half now, so I must wait until I can afford to see a specialist.
  In the meantime, my sister encouraged me to start a blog to keep record of and maybe share my symptoms and experiences. So here I am! And below I've drawn up a list and descriptions of my current symptoms, as they are at this point in time, for the record.




Symptoms

Chronic:
Abdominal Distention
Nausea
Moderate to Severe Constipation
Fatigue



Abdominal Distention
  The distention is much more difficult to track than my other symptoms because when it happens, it lasts for several days and I can never pinpoint when it starts. But I would estimate it happening once every 1 or 2 weeks, usually with little time in between fluctuations (maybe... two day intervals).
  I'm a thin girl with very little body fat. I stand at 5'2" and weigh 105lbs (when not bloated). But I would say that the increase in solid abdominal distention is a matter of inches. When at this stage, My entire abdomen feels tight with pressure. As a result, I find breathing to be less natural and a bit uncomfortable at times.
  Also, sometimes when the bloating/nausea is more severe, I'll experience an unnerving inclination to voluntarily dry heave in an effort to relieve the nausea and/or pressure - especially in heat/humidity (e.g. the shower).



Nausea
  I experience nausea a minimum of once a day, not including the milder nauseous undertones I feel many times throughout my day. I find myself almost wanting to throw up just to feel better. It's usually brought on by meals. I've investigated the possible irritants (lactose, gluten, foods high in sugar/fat, acidic foods, spicy foods, etc.) but nothing adds up.
  Although it's possibly unrelated, I do experience nausea at early hours of the morning (hence my inability to eat breakfasts), as well as before leaving the house at any given hour (nerves?)


Moderate to Severe Constipation
  Constipation has been a problem for me since I was a child, but it also fluctuates. Growing up, I wasn't aware of healthy/unhealthy bowel movement frequency. I didn't realize that "going" once per week was unhealthy. I had nausea problems as well (especially the aforementioned 'early morning' and 'before going out' type of nausea), but I suppose I thought it was all "normal" and didn't really concern myself with it. My mother would scold me, telling me to improve my eating habits and physical activity. But like most kids, I didn't take her very seriously.
  Now it's a lot different... and worse, due to the discomfort involved. And I say 'moderate to severe' because it varies. But I do remain irregular, and I sometimes end up being constipated for 1-2 weeks! At that point, my lower abdomen starts poking out and the nausea becomes even more frequent with more of that voluntary dry heaving. Also, surprisingly, my appetite and cravings increase which doesn't help the situation at all.
  At times I'll feel the urge to "go" but won't be able to. Other times, I won't feel the urge at all until my time is up. And when I do "go" or try to go, it's accompanied with pain/blood/soreness. What usually gets me loosened up is either my monthly period (naturally), 3-4 days of regular polyethylene glycol (PEG, i.e. powder laxative) dosage, or just... nature. I won't use any other type of laxative because they are too harsh for me making for an even more painful experience.


Fatigue
  It's pretty self explanatory. I just feel tired more often than I should. I'm young, I don't over work myself, I exercise regularly, I don't drink or smoke... So I feel I should have more energy than I do. I do believe it's related to my digestive struggles. The constipation and bloating are key factors, for sure, and the nausea obviously just makes me want to lay down either way.





Side Note:
Some things to consider:
I do eat quickly (breaking the habit).
I do struggle with anxiety.
I don't drink alcohol or smoke.
I do eat fast food (not as often as I used to).
I do exercise regularly.





***Any helpful advice or information from intelligent, open-minded people is more than welcome! Or if anyone just wants to share and compare their symptoms, or even just to get the complaints and frustrations out of your system, that's fine too! My hope is to find help through my efforts, but it would be very fulfilling if I could somehow help someone else along the way.